Children are sponges. They soak up all the good and bad things around them. I have learned that more times than I can count. There was this one time that I was driving to pick up the little boys at daycare and Cambric was asleep in the back. A car pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on my brakes. Cambric sat straight up with eyes closed and yelled out “DONKEY” and laid his head back down and continued sleeping. Ok, ok so it was the other word for donkey. I did laugh, but that was a nice big slap in the face that what I thought were things no one was paying attention to because it was done quietly, it really was seen...or in this case heard. Whoops.
That instance and soooooo many others have awoken me to be on guard. My boys are developing their personalities right now and we as parents have a place in that...the good and the bad. What are they soaking up from us?
When I was pregnant with Cambric, my mom and sister-in-law bought us the MamaRoo baby swing. Oh boy was I excited opening up that bad boy and then would sit staring at it, thinking of the sweet boy that would very soon lay in it. It had a spot where you could plug in your phone and it would play music through the swing. I dreamed of putting Cambric in the swing, turning on worship music, and sitting beside him and reading my bible. When I shared that fantasy with a group of moms, that’s exactly what they assured me it was...a fantasy. I remember how upset it made me to think that these moms were telling me that a child was going to get in the way of my time with God. More than anything it disappointed me that I wasn’t going to have what I pictured.
Things are different than I imagined. They are very different. Through these last several years though, I remembered my mom. She has me (her angel and beloved daughter) and then my two older brothers who were (and still are) annoying...I’m sure she would agree that that sentence is full of facts. Anyways, I saw my mom be a mom AND have a wonderful relationship with God. She did both. And she made sure she did it right in front of us crazy kids so that we were able to SOAK it all in like the sponges that we were. Just like the sponges that our kids are right now.
Do you feel like there is just NO time? Goodness that’s how I feel! Work, after school activities, weekly appointments, etc... Yep where do I fit in time to make sure that I am training my kids up in the way that they should go, so that when they are old they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6)? Seeing as these kids are sponges we have to make time. They should be seeing us live out our walk with Christ. If they aren’t seeing it in us, then well….it’s most likely not going to happen in their own lives. We have to make the time to show our kids what prayer, worship, and learning God’s word is. Is it going to be easy? Is it going to be wrapped up in a nice little bow? Ehhhhhhhh…..
A few days ago as I sat watching a women’s conference online, my children sat snuggled around me in bed listening as Lysa Terkeurst spoke of forgiveness. The song “Raise A Hallelujah” sweetly was sung from their precious mouths with the worship team, while I drank my yummy chai tea latte. YA RIGHT!!! Not at all. Aslan woke up beside me and said “ugh Mom that’s so loud.” Then he ran and grabbed Troy’s iPad to watch Jojo Siwa sing Kid in a Candy Shop. Shepard woke up and cried and cried till I got up to go get him milk and then kept pressing buttons on my computer making the live stream halt, giving him endless giggles. While my boys jumped on the trampoline, I sat outside with my computer and listened to their yells and laughter. I pulled it up on my phone and put it in the shower on the ledge and listened while getting Shepard’s pee off me from when he was using the restroom and forgot his hand was keeping his wiener down. Fun times.
My point is, we can make time. It’s just not going to always look pretty or will it be easy. And when life is just crazy, give yourself some grace. Sometimes we can only do the things that help us survive and in those moments, pray in the car out loud with your kids. Show them what prayer looks like. Aslan tells me all the time to pray for something and when I tell him he can pray for it as well he says “But I don’t know how and I need you to teach me.” They want you to lay down with them because they are scared? Awesome, “ok well mama’s going to read a devotion on her phone while I lay with you then ok?” Having a rough day? Turn that worship music on in the car or in the house and let your kids see what it looks like to worship God. Sometimes I turn the bible app on while driving and let it play. That is Cambric’s favorite thing for me to do. Just kidding. “MOM! AGAIN?” But there have been a few times where I didn’t think he was paying a lick of attention and he asked me what something meant. Just PLEASE don't be like me and turn it to like Romans where they start talking about sex and circumcision cause you’ll be all “OH MY GOSH! HOW DO I TURN IT OFF? BOYS START SINGING YOUR FAVORITE SONG BACK THERE...REALLY LOUD OK!” Do you know how often I have to ask my boys for forgiveness? Too much. But they need to see that we as parents and as humans are going to fail, and they need to see what we do when we have failed and how we fix it. “Listen, I got really angry when you did that and I should never yell at you like that. What you did was not ok, but how I responded was NOT ok either and I made it worse with that kind of reaction. I really hope you can forgive me for getting so angry at you.” I would say almost every time they tell me they forgive me and then I get an apology back for their actions and then they ask me for their forgiveness.
They are definitely going to soak up some not so great things from us...but let’s try to show them what it looks like to live a Christ centered life...or at least striving for one. Sponges. They are soaking it in mamas. What is going to come out when that sponge is squeezed?
Until the next tale…..
P.S. Shout out to my mom who is always reminding me of this lesson, which is why she buys my boys the coolest devotionals and bibles. Grandmas, y’all can help your grandkids too. I will post some awesome resources we use in my story highlights on my Instagram. Oh and speaking of Instagram, if you have been watching my stories or my posts then you probably see just how UGLY our time trying to worship or read God’s word can be. There is kicking, burping, and other gross boy things but I am trying and I think God would be quite happy with that! :)
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